Worse Than Lonely

What could be worse than loneliness? A heart that has been left empty. Feeling lonely can be somewhat manageable, but emptiness strips your heart of everything you once found joy in. It makes your heart feel like it has been left in a barren waste land. One could describe the emotions of an empty heart by describing a metro station. During rush hours the tunnel like corridors are filled with the crush of humanity. Everything is alive with movement and activity, but think of that same corridor when it is completely empty. Void of sound and life the emptiness can almost feel eerie.

Although I have been alone for well over a year now, I feel like my heart is still so void of life. On the outside I am moving on - trying to piece back together the shattered pieces of life, but on the inside my heart is still very much like that empty metro, void of sound and life. I know that the feeling of emptiness is a result of deep emotional pain and also part of the grieving process. I only wish it didn't have to take so long for a heart to stop loving and move on.

God gives me the strength to wake up each day and tackle the obstacles before me, but so often I feel like I am a lifeless being just functioning in an unknown world. I have felt so often lately that I just can't make it through this. I have never felt so alone in all my life, and almost daily I feel like the burdens of life are crushing me. I know that without the Lord in my life I would never have made it this far but often I wonder, when will it all become easier? When will it all make sense? How long will my heart feel so incredibly empty?