The past few days have been long and tiring for me. I find myself fighting loss of hope and despair. At night when all is quiet and I sit alone in my room, I wonder, why God? Why did you take it all away from me? Tonight I sit here alone again and the Lord is opening my eyes to see that walking through the desert is and can be a blessing. I can either choose to see it as a time when God took everything away and cry because I have lost something so precious, or I can choose to look at the things God is giving to me even in the desert. Yes He does take away. He puts us through the fire, He prunes our branches, He allows trials of many kinds to come our way. But He gives so much to us too. Even in the midst of His taking away - He is giving. Everyday He gives me the tools I need to raise my kids, the patience to mother them in a godly way, the strength when I feel I can't go on. Everyday He fills my heart with His peace, and hope. He gives me grace to fight the battle and He is merciful to me in my time of need.
Yes you can say that the most precious thing has been taken from me and I have every right to feel crushed and disillusioned. But if I look for them, the most precious treasures are being given to me right now - even in the midst of the storm. Somedays they are harder to see than others. It seems like the storm clouds get heavier and heavier but the treasures are still there. God is giving me everything I need for right now, if I choose to receive them.
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